


Practicing Your Name

by carolinecrane



Series: down is where we came from [37]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-01
Updated: 2010-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-13 11:39:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/136934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn tries not to spend all of Christmas Eve checking his phone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Practicing Your Name

Finn tries not to spend all of Christmas Eve checking his phone. He knows Will’s having dinner with his folks, knows that even if he bails earlier than usual that Finn probably won’t hear from him until late. So there’s no point in checking for missed calls every few minutes, and there’s no point checking for texts either, because Will’s never texted him before and there’s no reason he’d start now.

So Finn tries not to obsess about it, and instead he spends the day mostly ignoring a _Deadliest Catch_ marathon with Burt and stealing glances at the dining room every so often, where Kurt and his mom have been flipping through old bridal magazines all day and talking about color schemes and guest lists and cake toppers, for fuck’s sake.

But it’s keeping his mom busy, which means she’s not looking at Finn with sad, kind of watery eyes and sighing every once in awhile like he just told her he has cancer or something. So Finn’s grateful for the distraction, even though he doesn’t get how someone can spend an entire day talking about the difference between two shades of blue that look exactly the same from where he’s sitting.

Dinner’s kind of weird, mostly because it’s the first time it’s been just the four of them in so long Finn can’t even remember when it happened last. Maybe before Kurt moved to L.A., back when he used to come home for holidays once in awhile. They talk about Kurt’s school and Burt hints around about whether or not Finn’s made any decisions about what he’s going to do, but it’s hard to talk about his career plans without bringing up Will, so in the end he doesn’t say much.

Puck’s only been gone a few hours, but he’s already called Kurt twice. Finn only hears one side of the conversation, but he thinks the first time Puck calls is to find out if Kurt knew Mrs. Puckerman and Sarah are coming to Christmas dinner. The second time, as far as Finn can tell, is just because Puck _misses_ him. After, like, four hours apart. It’s kind of pathetic and if Puck were here Finn would make a joke about his codependency issues -- then he’d make a mental note to thank Quinn later for explaining Puck’s codependency issues in the first place -- but if Puck were here, he’d just accuse Finn of being jealous, and he’d be right.

So Finn keeps his mouth shut and checks his phone again and doesn’t freak out about the fact that Will’s not calling just to say hi, and when the doorbell rings not long after they’re finished clearing the table his heart doesn’t start racing, because he knows better than to think Will’s just going to drop by. Even if he _was_ that desperate to see Finn, he wouldn’t just show up. He’d call and maybe start to ask if Finn could come by, then stop himself and start babbling about Christmas and family time until Finn finally cut him off and said, “Can I come over?”

When Puck walks into the living room Finn isn’t disappointed, because he knew exactly who was at the door before Kurt practically sprinted to answer it. And he’s happy for them, he really is. He’s still not crazy about the mental images Puck keeps planting in his brain, mostly because Kurt’s his _brother_ , but he’s known them both a long time, and they’re some of the closest friends he’s got outside of Will and maybe Quinn, so he’s glad they found each other or whatever. If he’s a little jealous of how easy they make it look...well, he figures at least Kurt would understand.

“My mom’s pretty stoked about tomorrow, Mrs. H,” Puck says, settling on the couch and pulling Kurt down next to him.

His arm goes around Kurt’s shoulders and it’s kind of a surprise to watch Kurt let it happen, especially after he’s spent practically their entire vacation trying to act like he and Puck never actually touch. And it’s not like they’re making out on the couch or anything, but Finn still glances over at Burt, just to see if it bugs him. If it does he’s not showing it, and Finn swallows another twinge of jealousy and doesn’t look at his mom to see her reaction.

“We’re going to be family,” Carole says, like there’s no question that Puck’s mom and sister would be invited to dinner on a holiday they don’t even celebrate. “Besides, it’s probably the only chance we’ll get to have a little engagement party with both of you here. Next fall will be here before you know it, and I know you boys probably won’t make it back to Ohio before then.”

Finn watches Puck’s eyebrow go up, then he watches Kurt’s hand settle on Puck’s thigh, low enough to keep Burt from, like, swallowing his tongue or something, but it stops Puck from saying whatever he was about to say, so obviously Kurt gets his message across. And Finn has no idea what that’s like, talking to somebody without saying any actual words, but he’d sort of like to find out.

When he looks away his gaze lands on his mom, and he doesn’t really mean for it to happen, but when he finds her watching him his stomach clenches hard. She’s still got that weird, kind of sad look she’s been wearing since he told her how he feels about Will, but there’s something else there too, like maybe she can tell what he’s thinking.

It’s not like things have been bad between them or anything. She’s not giving him the silent treatment or telling him he’s making a huge mistake. She hasn’t said anything about Will at all, not even when Finn told her he asked Will to come to dinner tomorrow. All she’d done was nod and say, “whatever you want, honey”, but he caught the sad look before she turned away.

Since then he hasn’t mentioned Will at all, but he hasn’t talked to his mom about much of anything else, either. He tells himself it’s not because he’s avoiding having to explain this thing with Will, that it’s not because every time he tries to work out _how_ in his head, his stomach clenches and his pulse races a little and he starts to wonder if maybe he really is the one who’s missing something here.

His mom’s still watching him when his phone buzzes in his pocket, and his heart skips a beat as he scrambles to pull it out of his jeans and check the screen. When he sees Will’s name he flushes and stands up, mumbles something about needing to take this and doesn’t look at his mom again. Instead he presses okay and says, “Hello?” as he walks out of the living room, like he doesn’t know exactly who’s on the other end of the line.

“Finn?”

“Yeah,” Finn says, and when he hears Will’s voice in his ear his heart starts racing all over again. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Will says, and Finn can hear the smile in his voice. It’s easy to picture, so he leans against the wall in the hallway and closes his eyes and imagines what Will looks like right now, sitting on his couch in a pair of jeans, maybe, and one of those old, faded t-shirts Finn only ever sees him in when they’re hanging out at Will’s place.

“How was dinner?”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line, not even long enough to mean anything, really, but Finn wonders all the same if it does. He got the feeling when Will mentioned it that he wasn’t really looking forward to dinner with his folks, and if what he said about his mom is true, Finn can’t really blame him. But he doesn’t know much about Will’s parents -- doesn’t know anything, really -- and Will knows everything about Finn’s family.

Finn swallows a sigh and opens his eyes, glancing in the direction of the living room and wondering if maybe he should know this stuff about Will already. They’ve known each other for years, after all, and okay, for a long time Will’s personal life was none of Finn’s business, but they’ve been friends for a few years now, and until yesterday Finn never even thought to ask what Will does for Christmas now that he’s single.

“Predictable,” Will finally answers, then he lets out a laugh that’s totally unconvincing, even over the phone. “Unfortunately my mother has a strange way of expressing how much she worries that I’m going to die alone.”

“But you’re not. Alone, I mean,” Finn says, then it dawns on him that Will probably didn’t tell his parents about them.

Never mind that Finn’s whole family knows -- most of them before even he did -- how Finn feels about Will. The truth is they haven’t even talked about what they’re doing, and Finn’s never even bothered to ask what Will’s folks are like or if they know he’s not exactly straight. He doesn’t know anything about Will’s parents except what they look like, and that’s only because they showed up at the one and only performance of the Acafellas way back when Finn was just some kid from Will’s Glee club.

“Finn, could...” Will starts, then he pauses and Finn can practically hear him shaking his head at himself. “What am I saying, it’s Christmas Eve.”

He lets out another little laugh and Finn’s heart skips a beat, because Will’s saying exactly what Finn figured he would, which means maybe Finn does know at least some of the important stuff about him.

“Your family must have all kinds of traditions.”

“My mom said something about making hot chocolate,” Finn says, then he blushes, because seriously, could he sound any more dumb? “It’s kind of a tradition, so I should probably stick around for it. But I could come over after, if you want.”

“You don’t have to. Your mom...”

“I want to,” Finn says, and his heart’s beating so hard he’s sure Will can hear it over the phone. “Give me like an hour, okay?”

“Okay,” Will says, then, “Finn...I’ll see you soon.”

Finn swallows the _I love you_ that’s right on the tip of his tongue whenever he’s talking to Will these days. Instead he says, “Yeah, see you,” and hangs up the phone before he says anything he can’t take back.

When he gets back to the living room Burt and Carole are gone, and Finn figures they’re in the kitchen working on the hot chocolate his mom’s made from scratch every Christmas Eve since he was a little kid. Back when he still believed in Santa she used to put an extra mug of it out with some homemade cookies, and even after he figured out Santa was a fraud, she still kept up the tradition of homemade cocoa and Christmas cookies before bed every year.

Kurt and Puck are still on the couch, heads kind of bent together and talking low and neither of them look up when he walks back into the room.

“I told her I wanted to wait until school and my internship were finished, and somehow that translated to ‘I want a fall wedding just like you and dad’,” Kurt’s saying. “It’s certainly not written in stone, though you do look good in autumn colors.”

Finn watches Puck grin and reach for Kurt’s hand. “You look good in everything, babe. You look better out of it, though.”

And he can see where this is going, so he clears his throat before they treat him to an instant replay of the first time he walked in on them making out on the couch. Kurt blushes and looks over at him, and when Puck rolls his eyes and leans back against the couch Finn can’t help laughing.

“Is everything okay?” Kurt asks, and yeah, his cheeks are pink and all, but he looks a lot less uptight about Finn walking in on him this time. He’s not apologizing or pulling his hand out of Puck’s grip or anything, anyway, and Finn figures that’s an improvement.

“Yeah,” he answers, glancing down at the phone still gripped in his hand. “I’m gonna go over to Will’s later. I’ll try to be back early, but...”

“I’ll think of something to tell them.”

Finn feels heat creeping up his neck and into his face, but he smiles at Kurt anyway. “Thanks, man.”

Kurt shrugs and leans back on the couch, sort of settling into Puck’s side and it’s still so weird to see them, like, _cuddling_ , but Finn can’t deny they look like they belong there, just like that.

“We’re family,” Kurt says, like that’s just what family does. Like because they’re brothers it’s Kurt’s job or something to cover for Finn so he can spend the night with his new boyfriend when he should be waking up in his own bed on Christmas morning to open presents and pretend he doesn’t wish he was somewhere else.

~

The hot cocoa tradition probably doesn’t take any longer than usual, but for Finn it feels like years pass before Burt and Carole finally finish and start making noise about turning in for the night. He offers to clean up the dishes, which gets him a smile and a kiss on the cheek from his mom, and a glare from Kurt. Finn’s heart twists when his mom kisses him, and he’s not going to cry about it or anything, but things feel _normal_ between them, just for that one second.

He smiles back at her and takes her mug and her plate, Burt’s too and heads for the kitchen. And he’s not planning to ditch Kurt with the clean-up, but he’s barely to the sink before Kurt follows him into the kitchen, Puck trailing after him and looking like he knows better than to laugh, but he kind of wants to.

“Go,” Kurt says, rolling his eyes and pushing Finn out of the way to get to the sink.

“I said I’d clean up,” Finn says, but he’s already backing away from Kurt and his access to the sprayer hose.

“Consider it a Christmas gift,” Kurt says, and when the corner of his mouth quirks up Finn knows he’s not really that annoyed. “Anyway, Noah will help me dry.”

Puck’s leaning against the counter on the other side of the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest and kind of grinning at Finn. For a second he looks just like he did in high school -- minus the mohawk -- and Finn wonders what it would have been like if Puck dated Kurt back then.

“Yeah, dude, we got this,” Puck says, pushing himself off the counter and crossing to the sink. “Stop cockblocking yourself and go spread a little Christmas cheer.”

Finn opens his mouth to tell Puck exactly what he can do with his Christmas cheer, then he thinks better of it and smiles instead. “Thanks, guys.”

“Whatever.” Puck reaches around Kurt to pick up a dry towel and the Santa mug Kurt just washed, moving in sync with Kurt, like they’ve done this before. “You _need_ to get some. You’re so tense you look like you’re about to break something.”

Finn blushes, but they’re both facing the sink now, so at least they don’t witness it. He lets himself out of the kitchen, glancing in the living room one more time to make sure his mom and Burt aren’t still lurking around before he heads for the front door. He pauses long enough to pull on his coat and grab his keys, then he lets himself out of the house.

Will’s apartment is across town, but the streets are pretty empty by now, so it doesn’t take Finn that long to get there. He pulls into a free spot outside Will’s building just over an hour after their phone call, then he takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair and gets out of the truck.

He knocks and stamps his feet against the cold and listens to the sound of Will moving on the other side of the door, footsteps getting closer and closer until finally the lock turns and Will’s pulling the door open. Finn smiles and brushes past Will into the warmth of his apartment, his stomach sort of fluttering when Will smiles back at him. And it’s kind of stupid to be nervous, because it’s not like this is their first date or even the first time they’ve had sex. But it’s there all the same, a thousand butterflies circling in his stomach and making him wish he’d skipped the hot cocoa for once.

“Hi,” Will says, still standing in front of the open door and grinning at him like an idiot, and Finn has to admit that it’s pretty cute.

“You gonna shut that or should I leave my coat on?” he asks, nodding toward the door as he pulls his coat off and tosses it over the back of a chair.

Will laughs to himself and closes the door, turns the lock and pauses for a second before he turns back to Finn. “Sorry, my mind’s sort of been elsewhere all day. Spending time with my parents does that to me.”

“Why do you go over there?” Finn asks, and he knows he shouldn’t, knows it’s none of his business, really, and even if it is sort of his business, they’re Will’s _parents_. He’s not going to blow them off just because they won’t stop bringing up his crazy ex, no matter how much Finn secretly suspects they might deserve it.

“It’s not all bad.”

Will’s moving forward, and Finn thinks maybe he’s going to try to change the subject, maybe distract Finn with his hands and his mouth until the last thing on either of their minds is his parents. But he stops a foot away from Finn, hand on the back of his neck and just looking at him like he’s trying to figure out how Finn got here.

“My dad’s great. It’s just...my mom gets kind of attached to certain ideas, and it’s hard to get her to shake them,” Will adds, grin kind of sheepish and he’s rubbing at his neck like he’s been tense for awhile now. “Do you want a beer or something?”

Finn shakes his head and takes a step forward, reaching out to rest a hand on Will’s cheek and run his thumb along Will’s stubble. “Nah, I’m good.”

Will’s hand comes up to cover his, fingers curling around Finn’s and Finn leans in and presses their lips together. He hears Will whisper his name, feels it against his mouth and parts his own lips in answer.

His free hand lands on Will’s hip, thumb moving in little circles and it doesn’t take long before Will’s pressing closer and gasping against his mouth. Like he’s been thinking about this all day, maybe. Like he’s been thinking about _Finn_ , wanting him and wondering when they’ll get the chance to do this again.

He pushes his hand up under Will’s shirt, across his back to spread his fingers wide against Will’s skin. Will’s hot, perfect skin, pressing back against him and spreading heat through Finn’s fingers and up his arm until Finn can’t think about anything except getting more, as much as Will can give him.

“Bedroom,” Will murmurs against his mouth, like he’s reading Finn’s mind.

And that’s great, that’s perfect, because it means Finn doesn’t even have to ask for what he wants. Which is everything, pretty much, stuff he’s never even heard of and maybe hasn’t been invented yet. He wants to make Will want him so bad he can’t see straight, then he wants to make Will scream his name when he comes.

He lets Will pull him down the hall and into the bedroom, then he lets Will pull his shirt off and mouth his way along the line of Finn’s neck. His hands bunch in the back of Will’s shirt, stretching the fabric and pushing up under it, fingers colliding with hot skin and dragging Will’s shirt up his back until he takes the hint and lets go of Finn long enough to pull it off.

Then he’s back, hands on every bit of Finn he can reach and his mouth right back on Finn’s neck, sucking at the hollow of his throat and scraping his teeth across Finn’s shoulder. His mouth’s everywhere at once, like he’s been thinking about this so much he can’t decide where to start.

“God, Will, I can’t stop thinking about you,” Finn says, and he figures that’s probably a little too much, that maybe Will’s going to freak out about how bad Finn needs this -- needs _them_ \-- but fuck it, he doesn’t even care, because it’s the truth.

Will pulls back to look at him, and Finn expects wide eyes and tension, maybe a little bit of Will trying to dial it back, but instead he just laughs and pulls Finn close and presses his face into the curve of Finn’s neck. Just _holding_ him, arms wrapped around him and it feels good in a way that makes Finn’s throat close up.

“Me too,” Will says, and his voice is muffled by Finn’s skin, but he hears the words anyway. “I listened to my mom relive the greatest hits of my failed marriage all afternoon, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to see you.”

Finn’s heart skips a beat and he slides his hands up Will’s back, curving a palm around the back of his head and pulling Will back to look at him. For a few beats he just looks, memorizing the sight of Will’s red, parted lips, the tiny lines around his eyes that are maybe just a little deeper than when they first met, and the dimple that hasn’t changed at all.

Then Finn surges forward and kisses him again, tongue pushing past Will’s teeth and his hands in Will’s hair to hold him there, hold him close for as long as he can. Then Will’s backing up, pulling Finn with him and shoving his hands between them to tug Finn’s jeans open.

Will’s bed is right there behind him, and that’s a _fantastic_ fucking idea, so Finn breaks the kiss and pushes Will backwards onto the bed, then he shoves his jeans and boxers down. He kicks them off with maybe a little less finesse than usual, gets his shoes and socks off and the whole time Will’s just leaning back on his elbows, watching. And he’s still mostly dressed, so Finn drops to his knees and pulls off Will’s shoes and socks.

He wraps a hand around Will’s denim-clad calf, spreading his fingers wide and sliding his hand up until he hits the back of Will’s knee. His other hand slides up Will’s thigh, all the way to his hip before Finn has to push himself up off his knees and climb onto the bed to plant a knee on either side of Will’s thighs.

“You are...”

Finn looks down at the sound of Will’s voice, at the awed look on his face and the way he pauses like he’s searching for just the right word to finish his thought. Finn can think of a few: He’s totally naked, for one, dick standing at attention and flushed red. The rest of him is pretty flushed too, from the patches of red on his chest to the heat he can feel in his face. He’s turned on and totally exposed and a little scared of how much he wants this. He’s a lot of things, but Will doesn’t say any of those.

“You’re beautiful,” is what Will says, and it’s not even the first time, but Finn blushes even harder anyway. And he still doesn’t know what to say to that, so he leans over to kiss Will, arms braced on either side of him and taking his time. Will’s hand slides into his hair, holding him close and arching up to meet him and murmuring against his mouth.

Finn can’t hear what he’s saying, but he thinks he knows anyway, and his heart thuds a little harder against his ribcage as he pulls away from Will’s mouth to kiss his way down the center of Will’s chest. He presses hot, open-mouthed kisses against Will’s skin, dragging moan after moan out of him as he dips his tongue into Will’s belly button, then licks the hard angle of Will’s hip bone.

“Tell me what you like,” Finn murmurs against his stomach, and it doesn’t even sound like his voice, but he hears the words come out of his mouth, so he knows he must have said them. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

He kisses his way along Will’s stomach, down to the button of his jeans and then back up again. His tongue dips into the hollow at Will’s hip bone, and when Will’s hips come off the mattress Finn does it again.

“Finn,” Will says, and Finn feels a hand grasping for his shoulder. It lands on his head instead, and Finn lets himself be dragged back up, hissing at the pull of fingers tightening around his hair.

When they’re face to face again Will reaches up to frame Finn’s face with his hands, eyes searching and there are little wrinkles just above his nose from the way he’s frowning. “Finn.”

“Just tell me,” Finn says again, turning his mouth to brush a kiss across the center of Will’s palm. “I mean it, Will, I’ll do anything you want.”

He thinks about all the things that one simple sentence could mean, then he shivers and surges forward for another kiss. And Will lets him, for a few seconds, but it doesn’t take long before he’s turning his head, breaking the kiss and then planting his hands on Finn’s shoulders and pushing him down on the mattress.

“Are you telling me you’ve never done this before?”

“Just with you,” Finn says, then he blushes and reaches up to catch the hand that’s pushing through his hair. “I mean, with girls, yeah. But you’re the first guy I’ve ever even thought about that way.”

It’s not strictly true. He played football, after all, and there were plenty of stray thoughts that ran through his head when he was in the showers with the other guys. He’s caught himself appreciating another guy in theater group once or twice, but at the time he told himself he just dug the guy’s technique or whatever and moved on. There have been a couple stray thoughts during some of his more boring classes, too, but until Will he could ignore or dismiss or explain away anything that didn’t work with the rigid world view he hung onto for so long.

“Finn,” Will says again, and this time it sounds kind of awed and sad at the same time, but before Finn can ask what’s wrong Will’s kissing him, their hands still clasped together on the mattress and Will’s leg pushing between Finn’s knees to give him some friction to work with. Finn gasps and thrusts up against him, tongue pushing into Will’s mouth and Will parts his lips to give Finn total access.

He’s gasping against Will’s mouth, demanding more and harder and he doesn’t even know what he’s asking for, but he wants it anyway. Then Will’s pulling back to look at him, expression serious like he’s thinking about telling Finn they need to slow down. And that’s bull, because they’ve done this twice already, and there’s no reason to stop. So Finn reaches between them and tugs Will’s jeans open, then he pushes a hand inside, past Will’s underwear to palm his dick.

Will’s hard, and when Finn’s hand closes around him he gasps and presses up, thrusting into Finn’s fist and closing his eyes and yeah, that’s more like it.

“Tell me what you like,” Finn says again, surging up off the mattress to suck a hot kiss into the side of Will’s neck. “Say it, Will.”

“God, Finn, I...” Will trails off, eyes still closed and his hips are moving, rocking into Finn’s hand and letting out breathy, hitching gasps with each upstroke.

“Tell me.”

“I love your mouth,” Will says, then he opens his eyes to look at Finn, and Finn’s heart clenches hard in his chest. “I love the way you kiss me like...like you’ve been waiting your whole life to do it. I love your hands, the way you touch me. Jesus, Finn, I even love watching you work on my car.”

Will laughs and presses his face into Finn’s neck again, but he doesn’t stop rocking into Finn’s grip. “I want you inside me.”

At first Finn’s not sure he hears right, but when Will lifts his head and looks at Finn and says it again, he’s pretty sure he could come right then and there. He doesn’t, thank God, because if he shoots his load too soon and misses out on an invitation like that, he’s going to kick his own ass.

He’s not sure what he says; he’s not sure he says anything at all, but a few seconds later Will’s pulling away, leaving Finn flat on his back while he climbs off the bed and then out of the room, as near as Finn can tell. It takes him awhile to come back, but when he does he drops a condom and something else on the bed and climbs back onto the mattress to plant his knees on either side of Finn’s hips.

Will’s jeans are gone, dick standing at attention and when he leans over Finn to pick up whatever he brought back to bed with him, Finn reaches out and closes his hand around Will again. That gets him a low hiss, then Will closes his eyes for a few seconds like he’s trying to keep it together. He takes a breath, then another before he opens his eyes, then he tears open the condom and reaches for Finn.

He bites his lip hard when Will’s hand closes around his dick, watches Will roll the condom on and squeeze something -- lube, Finn guesses, and they mention that a lot in the book, so he knows what it’s for and all -- onto his palm before he closes his hand around Finn again and strokes a few times. Finn’s hips are moving, thrusting kind of lazily into Will’s grip while Will watches him. Finn’s hands are on Will’s thighs and he’s fighting to keep his eyes open, because he wants to see this. Wants to see everything, from the look in Will’s eyes when he sees how much Finn wants him to the way he closes his eyes and moans Finn’s name when he comes.

Then Will lets go of him and reaches for the lube again, and Finn’s read about this too. He knows how it works -- in theory, anyway -- and he thinks about asking Will if he can help out, pictures his fingers sliding into Will and feels his cock twitch in anticipation. But before he gets the words out Will’s pushing up onto his knees and reaching behind himself, head back and mouth open while he fucks himself on his own fingers, and Finn’s pretty sure he’s never seen anything hotter in his life.

He pushes off the mattress, just enough to sit up and wrap a hand around Will’s dick, stroking him slow while Will rocks back onto his own hand. “How many times have you done this?”

Will’s eyes snap open at the sound of Finn’s voice, but he doesn’t answer. Instead he just watches Finn while he keeps pushing his fingers in and out of his own ass, one hand on Finn’s shoulder to steady himself and rocking up into Finn’s fist with each upstroke.

“You’re so hot, Will,” Finn says, then he leans in and kisses Will’s neck, right at the center of his throat. His teeth scrape along Will’s Adam’s apple, dragging a groan out of him. He’s still fisting Will with one hand, a little faster now, and he reaches behind Will with his other hand and palms his ass, pulling his cheeks apart and Will groans again and sinks a little further onto his fingers.

“How many other guys have there been? Tell me.”

It’s not like he’s jealous or anything; Will’s older than him, for one, and anyway he figures if at least one of them has a clue what they’re doing, it might make things a little easier. He doesn’t really need to know names or faces or whatever, but Will’s getting off on this way too much for it to be his first time, and even if he’s only ever done it alone in his bed when there’s no one around to see him, Finn wants to know what he’s up against here.

“Not many,” Will finally says, and his voice sounds weird, like he’s having trouble making it work. Then he pulls his fingers out of his ass, hissing at the loss and gripping Finn’s hair tight to pull him into a kiss.

“Once in college. After the divorce...a hook-up here and there, just a few times. Once someone from theater group. No one you know; he’s been gone for a few years now,” Will adds, so Finn figures he must look like it bothers him. Which it doesn’t, not really, though he knows it’ll be easier to go back to rehearsals if he’s not looking at every other guy on stage and wondering if he’s the one Will let do this to him.

It’s not a lot, Will’s right. It definitely doesn’t count as getting laid regular, and Finn’s read Kurt’s book enough to know that means they should use plenty of lube. He slides his fingers across Will’s ass, lets them dip between his cheeks to his hole, barely pressing the tip of one finger inside to feel slick and tight heat and God, how in the hell is he supposed to keep himself from coming as soon as he pushes inside Will?

Will lets out a moan against his mouth, pressing back into Finn’s hand like he’s trying to get more. Which Finn can totally do, so he lets go of Will and reaches for the lube, feeling around on the mattress until he finds it and pouring some onto his hand. Then he drops it back on the bed and puts his hand back on Will’s ass, leaving a trail of slick on his skin as he pushes two fingers inside.

The noise Will makes is totally pornographic, and Finn’s cock reminds him that he shouldn’t hold off much longer if he wants to make it to the main event. But Will looks amazing rocking back on his fingers, lips parted and just _watching_ while Finn works two fingers in and out of him.

The angle’s a little weird and he can tell his wrist is going to ache soon, and Will’s making these frustrated noises against his mouth and pushing back harder and harder, like he’s trying to get more. And Finn doesn’t know what he’s doing or anything, but he wants to give Will whatever he wants, so he pulls his fingers out of Will and grips his hips, pushing until Will takes the hint and climbs off him.

Finn expects Will to lie on his back so Finn can see his face while he fucks him, maybe so they can make out a little too like in all the porn he’s been watching on the Internet. Instead Will plants his knees on the mattress and bends over, leaning forward on his elbows and looking over his shoulder at Finn.

“It’ll be easier for you the first time,” he says, and Finn has no clue what that means, but when he lines up and slides inside Will for the first time, he thinks he gets it.

He bottoms out on the first stroke, balls-deep inside Will and shaking with the need to move, but he knows he’s supposed to wait, that Will’s probably still a little tight and he’ll need a second to adjust to Finn stretching him open. Except then Will moves, easing forward until Finn’s half out of him, then pushing back until Finn’s buried inside him again.

A choked sort of sobbing noise escapes Finn, and it sounds a little like he’s strangling or something, but Will doesn’t stop and ask if he’s okay, so Finn just grips his hips and pulls almost all the way out, then slams back into Will again. He forgets all the stuff he’s read about trying to take it easy, being a little gentle until he’s sure everybody’s on the same page. But Will’s moving with him, breathing hard and chanting Finn’s name and he figures that means Finn’s not hurting him.

His technique’s not perfect or anything; there are a few times when he pulls out too far and has to find his rhythm all over again when he slips right out of Will, and he can’t figure out a way to keep up the pace they both need and still get Will off too. In the end he gives up on trying to jerk Will off while he fucks him and just grips his hips hard enough to leave marks. He sort of expects Will to reach under him and jerk himself off, but he’s still leaning forward on both elbows, forehead pressed to the mattress and pushing back into every thrust, like maybe he wants it to last as long as possible.

And Finn knows the feeling, just like he knows it’s going to be over way before he’s ready. Will’s tight around him in a way he never even imagined, and the way he’s arching his back is totally obscene, like he’s trying to drag Finn even further inside him. He hears a high, sort of moaning noise and thinks distantly that he’s the one making it, then Will twists his neck to look at him and reaches up to close a hand around the one resting on his hip, and when Finn looks at him he just says, “Let go, Finn, it’s okay.”

Later Finn will remember to be embarrassed about the fact that all it takes to make him come is for Will to _tell him to_. For now, though, he’s too busy slumping against Will’s back, hands and mouth moving on sweat-slick skin and gripping Will’s shoulder to ease him off his knees and onto his back. He hears Will’s hiss when Finn slips out of him, so he pushes Will back onto the mattress to kiss him until he forgets about any traces of pain.

Will’s hand slides into his hair, his other hand wrapped around his own dick and Finn kisses him while he fucks the circle of his fist, hips coming up off the mattress and neck arching when Finn opens his mouth against the spot below Will’s ear. He doesn’t leave a mark, because Will’s still got a week or so before he has to go back to school, sure, but Lima’s not that big and there’s no telling who he’ll run into at the grocery store or wherever. And the thing is, Finn doesn’t even know if they’re telling people about them or what, so he doesn’t plan to leave any evidence that’s going to make things weird.

He turns his attention to Will’s earlobe instead, tugging at it with his teeth and then tracing the curve of it with his tongue, huffing out a hot breath on damp skin and grinning when Will gasps and thrusts up hard off the mattress and then laughs, like he wasn’t expecting any of this. Finn’s hand slides down the center of his chest, past the hand still working Will’s cock, and cups his balls. He hears Will breathe in hard, feels his legs spread a little more and Finn takes the invitation and pushes his hand further between Will’s legs, pressing at his slick, sensitive hole with just the tip of his middle finger.

Will moans and pushes down on Finn’s hand, fist tightening around his cock and all Finn can think is _wow_. He’s watched plenty of guys getting fucked online, sure, and he’s read up enough to know that it should feel pretty good, once you get past all the nerves and the weirdness. But it’s not often the guys in porn look like they’re really into it, Finn figures because it’s their job and even fucking has to get old if you’re doing it in front of a camera with some other dude you don’t even know.

He’s sure as hell never seen anybody enjoy it as much as Will, and it makes him wonder why Will’s only done it a few times, sure, but mostly it makes him wonder how he can get Will to fuck him. A flutter of something rolls through Finn’s stomach: nerves, maybe, or just anticipation, because the second he pictures Will fucking him Finn wants it, maybe more than anything he’s ever wanted.

And yeah, okay, he’s kind of known that since the last time he was in Will’s bed, when all Will had to do was push his thumb inside Finn, just a little, and Finn came like there was money at stake. But seeing Will like this, totally wrecked and straining to get more, thumb sliding across the head of his dick while Finn finger fucks him and mouths his way across every inch of Will’s skin he can reach...yeah, he’s pretty sure he’s ready to see what it’s like.

“Will,” Finn says, breathing Will’s name right near his ear and Finn feels the shudder that rolls through him, “do you think next time you could do me?”

Will’s too busy coming to answer him right away, but that’s cool, Finn can wait. He keeps pressing hot kisses to Will’s neck while he waits for him to relax, then he eases his finger out of Will and slides his hand across Will’s stomach, spreading wet heat into Will’s skin. He thinks about getting out of bed and dealing with the condom, but he’s already hard again just from watching Will get himself off, so it’s not like it matters. Then Will turns into him, hand coming up to grip the back of Finn’s head and pull him into a kiss, and Finn forgets about the condom again.

“Whatever you want,” Will finally says, breathing the words against Finn’s mouth before he goes in for another kiss. It takes Finn a second to remember what they were talking about, but when he does he feels his stomach flutter again.

Will’s pressing him back into the mattress, and for a second Finn wonders if ‘next time’ is going to happen a little sooner than he bargained for. Then Will presses one last kiss to the side of his mouth and rolls onto his side to look at Finn, and he can’t decide if he’s disappointed or relieved.

He’s still wearing the condom, anyway, so he climbs off the bed and heads for the bathroom to deal with it. When he’s done he finds a washcloth under Will’s sink and cleans up a little, then he rinses it out and takes it back to the bedroom.

When he gets there Will’s lying on his back, eyes closed and chest rising and falling and Finn wonders if he’s asleep already. He climbs back onto the bed and runs the washcloth across Will’s stomach anyway, and when he glances up at Will his eyes are open to watch Finn.

“Turn over,” Finn says, and when Will just flips over onto his stomach Finn has to swallow hard. He wipes away the lube on Will’s ass as gently as he can, bottom lip between his teeth and biting down when he hears Will’s breath catch at the first touch of the washcloth on his sensitive hole.

“Why only once in college?”

“Hmm?” Will says, his voice kind of far away, but when Finn pulls the washcloth away and tosses it on the carpet with his jeans Will looks up at him.

“You said you only did one guy in college. Why just him?”

For a second Will closes his eyes, and Finn thinks maybe he’s pushing for too much. But Will already knows everything about him, pretty much, so Finn figures he should know some of this stuff about Will.

“I was already with Terri when I went to college.” Will’s eyes open and he turns onto his side, reaching for Finn’s hand and tugging until Finn slides back down onto the mattress next to him. “I’m not proud of what I did. I can’t even say I was drunk at the time, not that that would excuse cheating. It was just...an opportunity that was presented to me, and I took it. It only happened a couple times, and once we finished the class we shared, I never saw him again.”

Cheating’s one of those things that’s always been a deal-breaker for Finn. He figures it has to do with Quinn and the whole baby drama, and that’s as valid a reason to hate it as any other. But Will’s never seemed like the type to him, and even now that he knows Will did cheat once...well, maybe it’s because his wife was a total whack job, but Finn can sort of understand how it happened.

“I figured out I was attracted to men in high school,” Will says, “but I never did anything about it. I was in a relationship, for one thing, and it was easier just to ignore it and focus on the future Terri and I had spent so much time planning. Then I got to college and I had less time to spend with Terri, and when I got partnered with Evan for a class project and he kissed me the first time, I didn’t stop him. I was curious, I guess. I know that doesn’t make it right.”

It’s not like Finn’s going to argue with him there, but he’s not planning to hold it against Will, either. So instead of answering he pushes forward to press his lips to Will’s, kissing him slow until he feels the tension kind of drain back out of Will. _I love you,_ he thinks for probably the hundredth time today, but he knows better than to say it now. Knows it will probably make things even weirder if he lays all his cards on the table right now, when they’re still figuring out what they’re doing here.

“So your folks don’t know...”

Will shrugs and looks down at their hands where his fingers are laced with Finn’s, thumb moving on Finn’s skin in a way that’s totally distracting. “I guess there’s never been a reason to mention it.”

He’s looking at Finn like he’s waiting for Finn to say something, like maybe he wants Finn to tell him that he’s got a reason now. Then again, he could be hoping Finn will let him off the hook, tell Will that he gets it, that even though Finn’s whole family knows about them already, there’s not really anything to tell. And maybe there’s not; maybe once they both go back to school and play rehearsals and their regular routines, Will’s going to realize he can’t be with Finn and still pretend he’s the same guy to the rest of the world.

The thought of Will letting him down easy makes Finn’s chest ache. It makes his heart pound too hard against his chest, makes his ears go hot and his neck’s probably flushed too and he knows Will can see it. He wonders if Will would try to keep them a secret for awhile before he figures out it’s too hard, and Finn wonders how long he’d put up with it.

“This is going to be hard for them to take,” Will says, then he pulls his hand out of Finn’s grip to curve it around Finn’s jaw. “My mom especially. I think she took the whole fake pregnancy thing even harder than I did. I always knew grandkids would be a big deal to her, but sometimes it feels like she wishes I’d stayed with Terri, no matter how miserable I was.”

Which is pretty fucked up, coming from his _mom_ , but Finn doesn’t say so. Instead he thinks of his own mom and how much she wants him to be happy, even if she’s not convinced that Will’s the one who can give him that.

“You don’t have to say anything. I mean, it’s not like they even know me.”

Will smiles then, and Finn feels the tight knot in his belly uncoil. “They know who you are. I talk about you more than I should, I’m sure.”

“Yeah?” Finn says, and when Will laughs he figures he’s probably grinning like a dork, but he doesn’t really care.

“I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to you.”

Finn knows the feeling -- boy, does he ever -- but he doesn’t say so. Instead he lets Will pull him forward, and when Will kisses him Finn parts his lips and lets Will in.

“My mom’s throwing kind of an engagement party for Kurt and Puck tomorrow,” he says when they come up for air. They’re tangled together in the center of the bed, and Finn has no clue how late it is, but he knows his plan to get home before his mom wakes up tomorrow is probably shot already. Only he can’t make himself care, not when Will’s pressed against him and mouthing lazy kisses down the side of his neck.

“I already told her you’d be there. So you have to come to dinner.”

Will laughs against his neck and presses a kiss to his shoulder this time, then he pulls back to smile at Finn. “I guess I can’t really argue with that.”


End file.
